Lord Help me...

How many times have we said that? I know I have said that often, many times in my life.  Even today. I mean wow, so many things have taken place in the last few months, and I just want to say Lord help me, for real.  There are pressures all around from myself, from other people, etc.  And alot of times I want to throw in the towel, because I don't understand.  But at the end of the day am I truly trusting God.  I feel like so much is on my plate, so much is expected of me and I feel at times that I am the only one and know one understands the things that I go through.  Why is it like that, why is it like this, don't you get tired of wondering? *points to self* Yep, I do...

²⁵ “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
²⁸ “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; ²⁹ and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
³¹ “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."~Matthew 6:25-34

Why did I eat the pizza?

Why did I eat the pizza?  Just having a normal day at work, we had a meeting where lunch was provided, but I didn't know.  So in the meeting I was eating the lunch I had already brought, chili, cornbread and some watermelon slices.  Then one of the supervisors stated that pizza was on the way.  And I'm thinking to myself, oo pizza but I had already eaten my lunch but a little voice was saying yes you are going to eat your lunch and get some pizza.  The pizza arrived near the end of the meeting, and once the meeting was over I was in a dilemma, to eat or not to eat that is the question.  I overode the voice that was saying to not eat, because that would be greedy and indulged in two slices of cheesy goodness all to quench the desire of myself and my want for the food. 

Going back to my desk extra full and feeling guilty,  I sat down to finish reading an artilce about Unselfish Christian Love (http://bible.org/seriespage/unselfish-christian-love-1-cor-135b). As I finished reading,  a part of the article hit me, it talked about in everything that it must be subservient to the pursuit of Christ.  In all that we do we must understand and make a choice that in all that we do even taking a vacation, eating, etc. that the purpose of Christ is made number one in pursuing it.  So as I read I was thinking that  my years and battles with overeating, I was pleasing myself literally.  I was pleasing my flesh, because the food was there, it tasted good, it looked good and allowed my desires to override the fact of the matter that me eating alot, and eating unhealthy did not put Christ as number one. I have lost a considerable amount of weight through the years but still struggle with my ideas and wants with food. I am supposed to eat in order to sustain this temple that God gives me.  Eating healthfully, getting enough rest, having a healthy lifestyle may not be the most comfortable but it is the most helpful for promoting Christ even in that.

But I saw this not just in an eating issue, but in a life issue.  What other things have I been doing that has been promoting my agenda as number one, instead of my pursuits being placed behind the pursuit of Christ in what He has for me to do.  No man shall take His glory, so what have I been doing in my life where I shined the spotlight on myself and dimmed out Christ?

I like to shop, I like to be able to to go to the store at any whim to get anything I may desire, and especially if it is on sale.  But does my pursuit of material things reflect the love of God in me? Am I willing to sacrifice a dress or a pair of shoes so another one of my brothers and sisters in Christ can have something for themselves.  Lately I have been in a war with myself and my mannerisms in some aspects of my life.  I have had to face some comfort zones head on and I can't say I have always won the battle.  For this year now up to this point, mI have been in a position that I thought I wouldn't have to deal with it and I have been in it longer than I expected. I have been having to face a part of me that I didn't realize was there until I got thrown into the fire.  I wonder, I beg and I plead for things to change, but had to realize that I was focusing on myself and my comfort zones and how I want things done. 

Being a Selfish Christian is an oxymoron, they don't go together, and in no way if you idenfiy yourself as a Christian being selfish has to be obliterated. By sinful nature we are selfish beings, looking out for what we think is ours and then after we are taken care of maybe giving the time of day to the next person.  But those things are supposed to be flipped.  The needs of others, sacrfices to see others not stuggle, etc. are priority because we carry the love of Christ in us, because He gave himself as a sacrifice to us sinful humans.  And through that sacrifice and love we have been given a chance to be sons and daughters of the Most Holy One. It all boils down to love, love is going to stand, love is forever, all the things we try to hoard and keep a watch of are going to fade away.  If I say I love my brother and not give him any help is the love of God truly in me?

So if you are like me and you need to take a look at what and who you have placed your priorities in, its time for self examination so we can change and be molded into what Christ wants us to be.

For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.~1 John 2:16 NLT

Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.~Romans 13:14 NIV

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture!  But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.~I Corinthians 13:4-10 NLT

Quotes on Forgiveness

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
~Paul Boose

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.

~Catherine Ponder

We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends.
~Sir. Francis Bacon

The man who forgives is far stronger than the man who fights.  ~Nathan Croall

Without forgiveness life is governed by... an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.  ~Roberto Assagioli

He that carries bitterness to bed with him will find the devil creeping between the sheets. ~William Secher  

We cannot be right with God when we are wrong with others. ~Lehman Strauss 

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~Robert Quillen 

S.O.A.P.

I came across this style of writing daily devotionals as a way to keep track of what I am reading in the Word as well as tracking my growth in Christ.  Check out this link...

http://www.squidoo.com/SOAPJournaling

Gotta be more thankful....

ouch...ouch...ouch...time to get more thankful

Source: pinterest.com via Michelle on Pinterest

On the Road to Forgiveness

How many of us have been lied on, cheated on, talked about, mistreated, abandoned, misled, deceived, mocked, scorned, betrayed and just hurt by the actions of another? If I probably asked this in a classroom, every single person’s hands would be raised.  This life, it is brings about lots of hurts and sorrows, but with that fact as well how we handle them will tell if we will be able to go and live an abundant life or be stuck mentally and spiritually in the hurts of the past, present hurts and already erected walls we think will protect us from future hurts. 

Myself, like any other has experienced my share of hurts.  For years even as a little girl I remember being at a point where I actually held on to a grudge against a friend of mine from the 4^th grade to the 9^th grade, that is one example of how the spirit of unforgiveness heavily influenced and impacted my life negatively. To this day I don’t even remember the reason why I was mad at her.  As I got older I started recognizing the spirit operating in my life with past relationships, friendships and everyday interactions with other people.  With every hurt, I erected a wall in my heart to try to protect myself from another injury.  Each time these attacks would come with a boyfriend, then a best friend, my parents, etc. The attacks got more prevalent and would try to take me out because it was using vessels that I cared for a lot.  I sat and looked around and started to feel a closing up again, a distaste, a disdain, and I know I didn’t want to go there again.

This time around, I have recognized it like never before, recent events made me face that spirit again, and this time I am so tired of dealing with it, instead of worrying about I will operate in the Word of Christ. I don’t know about you but I get tired of old sins and old habits popping, up and seeming like its totally different but it is the same mess, same spirit but different vessel.

I choose to act in forgiveness, I choose to love my enemies, I choose to pray for those that despitefully use me.  Why? Because God commanded it in His Word.  Who says that it feels good or that I feel like doing that, all the flesh that is in me is like there is no way you can do good to those that hurt you. 

But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you, so that you may become sons of your Father in Heaven. For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

(Mat 5:44-45 MKJV)

 But to be obedient is better than sacrifice. So I rather be obedient than to sacrifice the future God has for me. I rather be obedient than to be placed back on square one of my spiritual journey. I rather be obedient than to sacrifice yet another soul to the pits of hell, not only to the one that hurt me but then to myself.  A soul is worth more than any and everything than one could ever imagine, so I rather be obedient so God can get the total and full glory.

And Samuel said, Does Jehovah delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of Jehovah? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice! To listen is better than the fat of rams!

(1Sa 15:22 MKJV)

My feelings may not change overnight, but then they could. It’s a process that I must start walking in, and honestly since I know how to fight this war more effectively than I have in the past, because I know the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, I know to use the Word, and rely on the Holy Spirit to help me through.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

(2Co 10:3-5 KJV)

And the thing is that all these hurts that I have experienced in no way can exceed the level of hurt and betrayal that Jesus faced as He hung on the cross as the sacrifice for the sins of you and me.  He was perfect and was still persecuted. He was lied on, but He still went and died and layed in the tomb for us.  He was spit on but He still went on and got suspended up in the air on the cross to make us clean.  He was betrayed, but he still chose to barrage the pits of hell to grab our souls from the clutches of Satan.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

(Mat 5:11-12 KJV)

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

(2Co 4:8-10 KJV)

So forgiveness is what I choose to do.  I shall remember to rely on the Word to get me through every situation because God knows and has given me the strength and power to win every battle. 

A website that seems to be more addictive than facebook...

I had seen a post about this website on fb friend's page and then the same week a co-worker told me about.  I love to craft, I love to get and try new ideas on the regular...so what website am I talking about. But before I get there (lol) I just have to warn you, if you are into crafting and designing like I am then you may have a problem;).....

The website is Pinterest.  This website offers so many ideas it can get overwhelming from weddings, parties, gift ideas, recipe exchange, fashion templates, photography, etc. It will get your fingers moving and your mind churning on all the things you can make. I will be posting some things I have made in the future, be on the lookout!!

Just smile...

There have been many changes in my life this year, some that I can explain some I can't;  There are still some areas of my life that I know need improvement but I have come aways in trying to get those things changed.  I have seen more of myself this year in good and bad ways.  But with the knowledge of the areas that are not so good there is that option to change and become better and stronger with it's revelation.  I have been known by many because I have a smile that some say could light up a room, but sometimes behind that smile are things that I have chosen not to reveal. But I know that the smile means that inspite of their is still hope and knowing that all things will work out for my good.  I have seen family members get closer to Christ this year, I have seen old friendships change and new ones develop like I have never seen before.  I am being put in more places that are taking me out of my comfort zone, which even though is uncomfortable, causes me to grow.  So just smile!

New Blog Format

Hi everyone, lots of things have changed since I last blogged here. And I feel that where my life is going I needed to change the content and format of my blog.  Faith, Fashion and Fun...three words that entail the things that are going on in my life.  Changing the format of this blog and actually updating it more often I feel that I will be making some more changes in my life that will increase and push me more into my purpose.  I love to craft with my hands, I love to encourage others so I hope my blog will be a place that you choose to visit often, who knows what God has in store!

The wonders of You tube

If you haven't discovered you tube in your natural hair journey, that is one site I definetly recommend.  There are so many folks on there that have almost all the information you could find on natural hair.  It can be overwhelming but you just have to make sure you type in specific search terms.  Even after all these years I have been natural I still discover new and innovative things I can do with my hair.  I found an idea today that I think I will try out, but I plan on tweaking it some.  If it works I think it will be a style I will use often! Stay tuned!

The Basics of getting to know your hair Part I

If you are anything like me, when I started the natural hair journey, I was nervous but at the same time excited because I was going to see another part of me more in depth, that was always poking out of the roots of my head under the relaxer.  The "new growth" is what it is called when you have a relaxer, but to me it was like the real me would keep fighting to come to the surface, but it would get beat down by the chemicals every 6-8 weeks. Why did I feel like I had to keep denying that part of me? Well like others we were trained to think that our real hair texture was undesirable and not right.  And when you look around everyone has a different hair texture coming out of our heads, just because you are African American, doesn't mean that the texture of hair will be the same compared to another. 

Well one of the things I learned about my hair, once the permed hair was cut off was the actual true texture of my hair.  I didn't know what was coming out of my scalp from the age of 11 to 23, the years I wore a relaxer.  I discovered so many things about my hair, so let me clue you in to some facts I learned.  This will be Part 1 of the basics of getting to know your hair.  Your true texture of your hair was an enemy when you wore a relaxer, now its time to mend your relationship and actually be really good friends with your hair...and yourself:)

Different Hair Textures
There are a few classification systems that grade the different hair textures that are present in humans. (information derived from http://www.curls.biz/curly-hair-type-guide.html and http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types)

Type 1-Straight
This hair is super straight naturally, and is one of the hardest types of hair to manipulate and style by curling, etc.  This hair type is the oilest. Some celebrity examples of this hair type are Jennifer Anniston and Lucy Liu.

Type 2-Wavy
This type of hair is natually wavy. It lies between straight and curly.  The hair pattern it demonstrates is in the form of an S.  There are 3 subtypess with this hair type, 2a, 2b, and 2c.  All of type 2's are more prone to frizz. Sub type 2a, can easily transition between straight or curly styles, 2b is more resistant to styling and has a moderate amount of frizz and type 2 c is heavily resistant to styling and more prone to frizz than the other subtypes. Some celebrity examples of 2a include Catherine Zeta-Jones and Ashley Olsen.  Type 2b celebrities include Joss Stone and Carrie Underwood.  Type 2c celebs include Shakira and Daisy Fuentes in their natural hair state.

Type 3-Curly
This hair type has a defined S-shape when you look at a strand of hair individually.  This hair type has very defined curl that range in size.  There are three subtypes in this group, 3a,  3b, and 3 c.  Some 3a subtype celebrities include Nicole Kidman, Chili from TLC and Julia Roberts.  3b celebrities include Keri Russell, and Mya.  3b celebrities include Mel B. from the Spice Girls, and Rachel True.

Type 4-Kinky
This hair type has three subtypes as well 4a, 4b and 4c in which this group is classified by a tighter curl pattern where 4a hair strands are still defined by an "S" pattern and where 4b and 4c are defined by a more "Z" pattern type of hair strand. This hiar type is the most fragile out of all of them and can get to be the driest.  It is soft to the touch even though misconcieved as being rough. Some celebrity examples of 4a include Kelis (when her was in it's natural state) and Solange Knowles (since she no longer wears a relaxer).  4b's include Jill Scott and Macy Gray. 4c's are Lauryn Hill, India Arie and Whoopi Goldberg.

Ok guys hope that was not overwhelming, but in general often people have at least 2 or three subtypes on their head.  Like for me I believe I am a mix of 4b/4c mostly with some 4a at the top of my head.  Knowing your hair type will help you to determine the type of hair products you need to use... to be continued...:)

The Natural Hair Expo...New mindset, New beginning....

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to attend one of my first natural hair expos, Nzuri Natural Hair Health and Beauty Showcase.  Upon arrival, I was anticipating all the style ideas, and products of local "naturals" that I would come across.  As I finally entered I was entralled by all the different hairstlyes that I was able to gaze upon. The beautiful dreadlocks, the tenacious twists, the curly afros, the braided mohawks, and on and on.  I knew I came to get inspired and that's what it did.  I went with a friend and the first thing we did was look around the various vendors that had set up.  From eclectic jewelery, fashion, nutrition, books, hair and skin products, artwork, etc.  It was wonderful! To see the different entrepreneurs, local and international, sole proprietorships to major corporations, you had the whole spectrum. 

It encouraged me to see the different businesses and how they were and made me feel empowered to start taking the needed steps in my own entrepreneual endeavors.  We had signed up to go to a free seminar to well versed and caring Natural Hair stylist who owns the The Way of Life Hair Salon.   She started out the discussion, by shattering myths and sterotypes about the culture, the minsconceptions and textures of African American hair. Some of her points included:

• Kinky/nappy hair is not an insult when someone calls your hair that.  It is kinky/nappy but society made it seem like it was a negative, but in truth that is the texture of your hair.
• Kinky/nappy hair is not bad hair.  Good hair is healthy hair no matter what the texture
• Straightening natural hair with hot combs, flat irons will eventually alter the texture of your hair where you will lose your curl pattern.  The more course your hair is it will take longer, the finer your hair is it will happen more quickly, but all in all heat will damage your natural curl pattern.  She gave an example of one of her clients who was natural for 7 years, and she had to straighten her hair because her friend wanted everyone's hair to be alike in the wedding.  After the wedding, her hair did not revert back to her natural curl.  You put your hair at risk each time you apply this heat, because it could be that last time to alter your curl pattern, and to start over, you must cut it.
• Transitional styles that are better for your hair are roller sets, straw sets, but those only work best when there is minimal new growth. When new growth is longer braids, sew in's etc.
• Having two textures on your head, the new growth and the permed hair can cause problems, but it depends on each individual case. Some people can transistion in this manner for a short or long time.  But eventually if you do not cut off the permed hair, your hair will start breaking off on its on since those to two textures are so extreme.
• Tension styles such as wearing headbands, scarfs, etc. to pull hair back can also alter the curl pattern and not allow reversion.  Once again once the curls have been altered, you have to cut and start again to get the proper reversion to occur.
• A texturizer is a perm! Don't be fooled!
• When getting braid/twist extensions, you should not have to pop an asprin or advil due to the tension and stress on your hairline, that the braider may be imposing.  The hair follicles are popped out and you can see the evidence in many people who get tight braiding.

Most of the above tips I already knew about, but the one below shocked me I had never heard of it

• When your hair is permed/processed it is common practice to trim 6-8 weeks, due to all the heat, manipulation, processing etc.  But for natural hair due to the hair not being processed and manipulated as such trims are needed every 6 months to a year! *wow*

After her seminar, we looked at more vendors and talked with some.  It was fun going around and getting an impression of the vendors.  Most were there and at the point in their business that they want it to be full time, etc. just ready to push it to the next level. I also was able to meet Elaine Johnson, her and her family were featured on Extreme Home Makeover: Home Edition.  They have an fabulous story and her and her husband specilaize in counseling and empowring singles, married people and help with parenting.

It was empowering and motivating, can't wait for the next one!

The beginning...

Hello and welcome to my blog "The Battle is Not in Your Hair". What am I talking about when I say the battle is not in your hair? If you have come across my blog you probably would expect tips on taking care of natural hair, how to remain natural, etc. Well here you will get that but there is something more important that I have on my mind. Your life as a whole, your soul and where it will end up when this life is over. There is a scripture in the bible that states:

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12 NKJV

It basically is stating that the things of the earth realm, the flesh, people, things that are temporary are not what we struggle with or battle with, it is the unseen, the things working behind the scenes of our physical eyes, those things that are present in the spiritual realm.


There are powers that are fighting for our lives everyday, in every decision and turn we make. They want to take your life and everything in it, and destroy is so you can not walk the path that God has destined for you. When I say the battle is not in your hair, I am saying that in society we have been trained to believe our looks are one of the most important assests we have. The views of our hair, especially those of African descent have been told that our hair is undesirable, it's not adequate and we should not accept it. If you probe deeper, its not just an attack on our hair, those views were done to attack our entire being. If they hate their hair, then they will hate themselves, and in turn they will not know their selves so they can easily be deterred from their purpose in life. When you reject a part of your self, that was placed by God you are setting yourself up to fail.


Growing up as an African American little girl I was bombarded with images, that I was not deemed attractive unless my hair was long, straight and flowing. Sitting in the kitchen or in the beauty salon getting the "naps" beat out by the heat of the straightening comb. Then after I couldn't take that any longer then I took the rite of passage to get a relaxer. But like I said the battle was not in my hair, this attack on my hair led to low confidence, lack of the acceptance of how God made me, etc.


It is more than hair that we are dealing with, when you don't accept what was given to you by God it is easy to reject His other gifts.